I’m struggling, people! I’m on Week 2 of defending myself from the cold that attacked Jaisa and Ella, and I’m this close to letting my guard down. Trying to stay healthy can be exhausting! I’ve been popping everything that Mother Nature has to offer, from vitamin C to echinacea, vitamin D and lots of OJ. But more important than anything, I know I need my sleep…something that was not had last night on account of my youngest, Jaisa, crying in the night. Normally she’s a superb sleeper, but naturally, the one night when my defenses have been compromised to dangerously low levels, THE ONE NIGHT I REALLY NEEDED A GOOD SLEEP, Jaisa had other plans.
So today, I’m upping my game. I got some exercise in and I’m gulping down obscene amounts of water to help flush out the bad mojo. I used to be a rockstar water drinker—getting my required eight, 8-ounce glasses a day without pulling a muscle. Now it seems I can’t find the time. Sounds ridiculous, I know. How much time can it take to guzzle water? But somehow I found a way to make it difficult, and I flat out forget to drink. (Maybe I should write myself a Post-It.)
It reminds me of my morning coffee ritual that’s gone awry. I love coffee. There’s nothing better than starting my day with a nice hot cup of joe. But in my hurried state of getting both of the girls their breakfast in the morning (because once they’re seated at that table, food better not be far behind), I make a pot, pour a cup, and by noon I see that sad little cup of caffeinated goodness sitting on the counter cold, with only a few sips taken. I think I need a lesson in time management. But that’s another topic, another day…if I have time.
Today I have to kick this cold to the curb for good because it’s already inched its way into my system and left me with a scratchy throat. I know the full-blown effects won’t be far behind. There’s never a good time to get a cold, but this week REALLY is no good for me. It’s Homecoming Week at Matt’s school and he’s the teacher in charge. Every year, this week brings a little stress to my life as I put on my single-parent hat. Thank goodness I don’t have to wear this hat a lot. Those of you who do, I applaud you. Thankfully, come Sunday I get my husband back and hopefully a little R&R.
Here’s my plan of attack…
Sleep: If that means missing Glee tonight (gulp), then so be it. (Thank goodness for DVRs.) Studies show that if you get less than seven hours of sleep a night, you’re three times more likely to catch the common cold, since sleep deprivation has been shown to impair immune function. And if you sleep poorly, you’re five times more susceptible to one as well. Sandman, it’s time to help a mother out.
Hand Washing: It’s something I harp at Matt about regularly. When he gets home from work “Did you wash your hands?” Before he fixes the girls a snack, “Did you wash your hands?” And believe it or not, after he uses the bathroom, “Did you wash your hands?”
To make things easier for everyone, I now house a canister of sanitizing wipes near our kitchen sink as a reminder to keep it clean, at the very least, before we eat—no excuses.
Healthy Eating: I’ve been upping my intake of fruits and vegetables…again something I’ve been lacking lately. There’s nothing like fresh, natural sources of essential vitamins and minerals to ramp up the immune system.
Family Time: Carrying my healthier habits over to my family helps us all stay healthy and stops the vicious sickness cycle. So if it means I have to keep asking…
“Did you wash your hands?”
“Did you wash your hands?”
“Did you wash your hands?”
…That’s exactly what I’m going to do.
What’s your secret to keeping your superpowers intact?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Holding On For Dear Health
You’ve heard how Jaisa’s cold killed Mom’s run, right?
Well, we moms all know how the rest of the story goes…
One kid gets sick. Then another falls victim. Dad’s hanging by a thread. Mom? She’s the one wiping noses all day and getting globs of snot blown in her face, not to mention goopy saliva coughed into her eyes. She’s also the one who’s been popping the extra vitamins since Day 1, scrubbing down the surfaces with antibacterial wipes, and doing the best she can to get enough sleep so she too doesn’t become a helpless prey to the Monster Virus that could rip the entire family to shreds.
Let’s face it folks, if Mom goes down, the entire family is screwed. But let’s get realistic too….when Mom goes down, dishes still need to get washed, laundry still needs to get done, meals still need to get made, and butts still need to get wiped. (This is not a slam on my husband because he DOES step up to the plate whenever he's called to duty.) But sick or not, Mom’s NEVER done. Which is why I apply my protective force field as soon as that first sneeze is sprayed… metaphorically speaking. (I'll talk more about my personal "tricks of the trade" in the days ahead.) Supermom does not go down without a fight!
I do have to give my kids a pat on the back. Sickness in our house usually starts earlier. One step inside daycare usually did the trick. But now that both girls are a little older, their immune systems are building up more defenses to all the crud out there. Thank goodness! Fall is my favorite time of year… until we get slapped in the face with reminders that cold and flu season is on its way.
In the beginning…
I remember all too well that one of the most difficult things I endured during both of my girls’ first years – aside from getting them to nurse, learning how to perfect the swaddle, soothing their evening crying spells and weaning the 2 am feedings – was trying to keep Ella and Jaisa healthy.
Like it or not, during Year One kids get exposed to pretty much everything (especially in daycare), which may be a blessing, as long as they don’t actually come down with everything. After Ella’s first year, she seemed to get sick a lot less often. I’m hoping the same will hold true for Jaisa. One thing I did when Ella got a little older was try some natural remedies to help alleviate symptoms, with my pediatrician’s approval of course. Mother Nature has some wicked immune-supportive tricks up her sleeve!
The bee’s knees for coughs
If you haven’t yet thanked your neighborhood bees, it’s time to sing their praises. It’s not just for tea, moms, honey helps relieve a cough too! With the ban on all cough and cold medicines for children under 6, this alternative has proven to be a safe natural remedy and our ticket to sleep-filled nights during times of sickness. Honey has amazing anti-bacterial properties and is a rich source of antioxidants that are beneficial for healing. When Ella can’t sleep without a hearty coughing spell, I give her a half teaspoon of honey to help coat and soothe the throat and quiet the cough. Ahhh…silence is bliss, especially at 3 am. [Moms, remember, never give honey to children under age 1 for fear of infant botulism.]
Last season with Jaisa was a little different. I couldn’t try honey yet and she wasn’t old enough for herbal formulas either (as advised by her pediatrician). So I relied heavily on a cool mist humidifier, a wedge to incline her mattress a bit, some chest rub to loosen up congestion (there are some good homeopathic options out there), and the aspirator to suck the gunk. She loved it. And if you believe that, you obviously have never tried it on your child. Consider yourself warned. Still, I consider it a necessary evil.
Kids bugging you? Bug them back!
I take a probiotic supplement on a daily basis for healthy digestion, but I first discovered the power of these good bacteria for children when Ella had a bout of diarrhea. After reading about the “wonder bugs” and their ability to improve digestion even in infants, I mixed a kid-friendly probiotic blend in with Ella’s yogurt or applesauce and sure enough, it eased her diarrhea.
A little common sense
Common sense applies to kids just as much as it applies to adults. I remind Ella to wash her hands after using the bathroom and before eating, and to cough and sneeze into her sleeve, not her hand. I have a pretty good idea of where that hand goes throughout the day and as few germs that can get from there to her mouth (or to me), the better. I also try to keep the girls away from each other as much as possible when one of them is sick. It’s not like I quarantine them or anything. Basically it means, “Ella, don’t let Jaisa put her hands in your mouth… and Ella, stay out of hers, for crying out loud!”
Laughter is the best medicine
Don’t forget a little TLC and a tickle goes a long way. Hugs can be just what the doctor ordered. By maintaining a positive, fun-loving environment for your child, a sniffle or two won’t stand in the way of laughter and a smile.
Stay tuned because I’ll talk more about how I try to stay healthy this time of year in an upcoming post.
Got a natural remedy that works for your child? I’d love to hear about it.
Well, we moms all know how the rest of the story goes…
One kid gets sick. Then another falls victim. Dad’s hanging by a thread. Mom? She’s the one wiping noses all day and getting globs of snot blown in her face, not to mention goopy saliva coughed into her eyes. She’s also the one who’s been popping the extra vitamins since Day 1, scrubbing down the surfaces with antibacterial wipes, and doing the best she can to get enough sleep so she too doesn’t become a helpless prey to the Monster Virus that could rip the entire family to shreds.
Let’s face it folks, if Mom goes down, the entire family is screwed. But let’s get realistic too….when Mom goes down, dishes still need to get washed, laundry still needs to get done, meals still need to get made, and butts still need to get wiped. (This is not a slam on my husband because he DOES step up to the plate whenever he's called to duty.) But sick or not, Mom’s NEVER done. Which is why I apply my protective force field as soon as that first sneeze is sprayed… metaphorically speaking. (I'll talk more about my personal "tricks of the trade" in the days ahead.) Supermom does not go down without a fight!
I do have to give my kids a pat on the back. Sickness in our house usually starts earlier. One step inside daycare usually did the trick. But now that both girls are a little older, their immune systems are building up more defenses to all the crud out there. Thank goodness! Fall is my favorite time of year… until we get slapped in the face with reminders that cold and flu season is on its way.
In the beginning…
I remember all too well that one of the most difficult things I endured during both of my girls’ first years – aside from getting them to nurse, learning how to perfect the swaddle, soothing their evening crying spells and weaning the 2 am feedings – was trying to keep Ella and Jaisa healthy.
Like it or not, during Year One kids get exposed to pretty much everything (especially in daycare), which may be a blessing, as long as they don’t actually come down with everything. After Ella’s first year, she seemed to get sick a lot less often. I’m hoping the same will hold true for Jaisa. One thing I did when Ella got a little older was try some natural remedies to help alleviate symptoms, with my pediatrician’s approval of course. Mother Nature has some wicked immune-supportive tricks up her sleeve!
The bee’s knees for coughs
If you haven’t yet thanked your neighborhood bees, it’s time to sing their praises. It’s not just for tea, moms, honey helps relieve a cough too! With the ban on all cough and cold medicines for children under 6, this alternative has proven to be a safe natural remedy and our ticket to sleep-filled nights during times of sickness. Honey has amazing anti-bacterial properties and is a rich source of antioxidants that are beneficial for healing. When Ella can’t sleep without a hearty coughing spell, I give her a half teaspoon of honey to help coat and soothe the throat and quiet the cough. Ahhh…silence is bliss, especially at 3 am. [Moms, remember, never give honey to children under age 1 for fear of infant botulism.]
Last season with Jaisa was a little different. I couldn’t try honey yet and she wasn’t old enough for herbal formulas either (as advised by her pediatrician). So I relied heavily on a cool mist humidifier, a wedge to incline her mattress a bit, some chest rub to loosen up congestion (there are some good homeopathic options out there), and the aspirator to suck the gunk. She loved it. And if you believe that, you obviously have never tried it on your child. Consider yourself warned. Still, I consider it a necessary evil.
Kids bugging you? Bug them back!
I take a probiotic supplement on a daily basis for healthy digestion, but I first discovered the power of these good bacteria for children when Ella had a bout of diarrhea. After reading about the “wonder bugs” and their ability to improve digestion even in infants, I mixed a kid-friendly probiotic blend in with Ella’s yogurt or applesauce and sure enough, it eased her diarrhea.
A little common sense
Common sense applies to kids just as much as it applies to adults. I remind Ella to wash her hands after using the bathroom and before eating, and to cough and sneeze into her sleeve, not her hand. I have a pretty good idea of where that hand goes throughout the day and as few germs that can get from there to her mouth (or to me), the better. I also try to keep the girls away from each other as much as possible when one of them is sick. It’s not like I quarantine them or anything. Basically it means, “Ella, don’t let Jaisa put her hands in your mouth… and Ella, stay out of hers, for crying out loud!”
Laughter is the best medicine
Don’t forget a little TLC and a tickle goes a long way. Hugs can be just what the doctor ordered. By maintaining a positive, fun-loving environment for your child, a sniffle or two won’t stand in the way of laughter and a smile.
Stay tuned because I’ll talk more about how I try to stay healthy this time of year in an upcoming post.
Got a natural remedy that works for your child? I’d love to hear about it.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
'Twas the Night Before Race Day
'Twas the night before Race Day and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except our “little mouse”
That mouse was Jaisa crying upon each hour
I quickly realized sleep was out of my power.
At 3 am I was still awake, having not yet slept a wink
Forget about running a race—I wouldn’t be able to think!
Now it wasn’t my back in pain
So much as the throbbing on my brain.
And then the clock struck four…
My alarm would go off in an hour more
Finally, I passed out from sheer exhaustion
At that point I might as well have forgotten.
There I was on Race Day
Dead as a door nail you might say
With just one hour of sleep in me
This race nearly brought me to my knees.
Each mile was a mighty struggle
When all I wanted to do was snuggle
Beneath the sheets and start all over
Thank goodness more races come in October.
Sadly, my time I did not beat
One minute more I pounded the street
But I FINISHED and made it alive and well
And have this dreadful story to tell.
What was bothering Jaisa so?
At the time I did not know
Later it proved to be a cold
How dare that virus be so bold!
To drag me down in such a way
Alas, I will have the final say…
On this, my next big Race Day!
Not a creature was stirring, except our “little mouse”
That mouse was Jaisa crying upon each hour
I quickly realized sleep was out of my power.
At 3 am I was still awake, having not yet slept a wink
Forget about running a race—I wouldn’t be able to think!
Now it wasn’t my back in pain
So much as the throbbing on my brain.
And then the clock struck four…
My alarm would go off in an hour more
Finally, I passed out from sheer exhaustion
At that point I might as well have forgotten.
There I was on Race Day
Dead as a door nail you might say
With just one hour of sleep in me
This race nearly brought me to my knees.
Each mile was a mighty struggle
When all I wanted to do was snuggle
Beneath the sheets and start all over
Thank goodness more races come in October.
Sadly, my time I did not beat
One minute more I pounded the street
But I FINISHED and made it alive and well
And have this dreadful story to tell.
What was bothering Jaisa so?
At the time I did not know
Later it proved to be a cold
How dare that virus be so bold!
To drag me down in such a way
Alas, I will have the final say…
On this, my next big Race Day!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Mom on the Run
Guess what? After years of protest, my body finally gave in.
I LOVE RUNNING!
To fully understand my elation at this latest revelation, take a trip back with me….
In high school gym class, the day I dreaded all year was the day we had to run the MILE. It was one measly day, one measly mile, and it practically had me breaking out in hives every single year. I would actually contemplate giving myself a sprained ankle or talking my parents into this being “the year” to get my bunions removed (its hereditary…thanks, Mom). Never work. I had to huff and puff it around the track one, two, three, four times… Every. Single. Year.
I tried running in college too, pushing myself every day to LIKE it. I still hated it. So I stopped and started walking instead…which by the way, isn’t for wusses (reminds me of an article I wrote once). I still love to walk and take them with or without the girls all the time.
Persistence Pays Off
About a year before Jaisa was born I decided to give running the good ‘ole college try (again). The first week was brutal. But somehow and for some reason I stuck with it just a little longer than all the other times I’d tried. And there it was… over this immense internal hurdle was EUPHORIA. I finally discovered what everyone referred to as the “runner’s high.” And just like that, I was hooked. I’m a running junkie.
Don’t get me wrong, my story is nothing spectacular. I’m not doing marathons all over the country and running 10 miles a day “just for fun.” Oh no. I keep my runs short and sweet, just for kicks. Over the summer I ran my first 10K and participated in the Green Bay Packers first ever 5K. I ran it with my brother and man, was it fun! Packers fan or not, who wouldn’t have the time of their life charging out that tunnel and circling around the bowl with 2,999 other runners? I know I did.
Time to beat: 28:43 (never said I was Speedy Gonzales). I don’t care so much about the time, as much as just doing it (this blog is not endorsed by Nike). This is one thing I do for ME. And bad back, you can’t take that away from me.
Are you a Mom on the Run? Share your latest adventure!
I LOVE RUNNING!
To fully understand my elation at this latest revelation, take a trip back with me….
In high school gym class, the day I dreaded all year was the day we had to run the MILE. It was one measly day, one measly mile, and it practically had me breaking out in hives every single year. I would actually contemplate giving myself a sprained ankle or talking my parents into this being “the year” to get my bunions removed (its hereditary…thanks, Mom). Never work. I had to huff and puff it around the track one, two, three, four times… Every. Single. Year.
I tried running in college too, pushing myself every day to LIKE it. I still hated it. So I stopped and started walking instead…which by the way, isn’t for wusses (reminds me of an article I wrote once). I still love to walk and take them with or without the girls all the time.
Persistence Pays Off
About a year before Jaisa was born I decided to give running the good ‘ole college try (again). The first week was brutal. But somehow and for some reason I stuck with it just a little longer than all the other times I’d tried. And there it was… over this immense internal hurdle was EUPHORIA. I finally discovered what everyone referred to as the “runner’s high.” And just like that, I was hooked. I’m a running junkie.
Don’t get me wrong, my story is nothing spectacular. I’m not doing marathons all over the country and running 10 miles a day “just for fun.” Oh no. I keep my runs short and sweet, just for kicks. Over the summer I ran my first 10K and participated in the Green Bay Packers first ever 5K. I ran it with my brother and man, was it fun! Packers fan or not, who wouldn’t have the time of their life charging out that tunnel and circling around the bowl with 2,999 other runners? I know I did. Up next is the Fox Cities 5K tomorrow morning. I talked my friend Nellie into running it with me. I ask. She said “Yeah, why not!” And now don’t I look the fool because this friend of mine, this mom of two, just announced that she’ll be running a half marathon at the “Happiest Race on Earth” – Disneyland in January! You go, girl!
A Minor Obstacle
So here’s the bad news… A few weeks ago—just two days before my 15-year-class-reunion, mind you—my back goes out (old age, here I come!). I was lifting Jaisa off the changing table, like I do about 5 times a day, and this time I felt a pinch down my left side and I spent the next 15 minutes on the floor rolling in pain. It’s getting better, but come on, it’s been three weeks! Now the pain has rudely maneuvered its way around my hip, making running oh so enjoyable. But I told Nellie, “I’m running Saturday come hell or hip replacement.” Let’s just hope neither is in my future. An offer for a massage, on the other hand, I will not turn away.
Time to beat: 28:43 (never said I was Speedy Gonzales). I don’t care so much about the time, as much as just doing it (this blog is not endorsed by Nike). This is one thing I do for ME. And bad back, you can’t take that away from me.
Are you a Mom on the Run? Share your latest adventure!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Simon Says “Sayonara.” Now What?
Like it or not, I’m an American Idol fan…most of the time. The big upset for this upcoming season has been the departure of the say-it-like-it-is judge, Simon Cowell. I don’t think anyone was too surprised to hear that Ellen DeGeneres was close behind. So that leaves the Big “Dawg” Randy Jackson. And of course the big question on everyone’s mind--who’s going to replace Simon and Ellen? Today I hear that Jennifer Lopez signed a 12-million-dollar deal to be a judge. That doesn’t seem like her. Guess I figured she’d hold out for more money. Rumor has it Steven Tyler is filling the third chair.
I’m definitely not against J Lo as a judge. She obviously has years of experience in the music industry to bring to the table. But is she too nice? I somehow can’t picture her saying, “That was absolutely dreadful.” Or, “Don’t quit your day job at the karaoke bar.” I don’t know much about Steven Tyler other than his success with Aerosmith…well, and that he has an enormous mouth (sorry, but every time I see him on TV, all I can think is “My, what a big mouth you have!”). Would he make a good judge? Maybe. But are they all going to be a bunch of mother hens afraid to hurt the kids’ feelings? Please, leave the “That a boy” and “You go girl” pep talks for the real moms.
Someone has to step up and say what we’re all thinking. After all, in the end only one person can go “Rockin’ on Top of the World.”
Will you be watching this upcoming season?
Who would you pick to be the 4th judge?
I’m definitely not against J Lo as a judge. She obviously has years of experience in the music industry to bring to the table. But is she too nice? I somehow can’t picture her saying, “That was absolutely dreadful.” Or, “Don’t quit your day job at the karaoke bar.” I don’t know much about Steven Tyler other than his success with Aerosmith…well, and that he has an enormous mouth (sorry, but every time I see him on TV, all I can think is “My, what a big mouth you have!”). Would he make a good judge? Maybe. But are they all going to be a bunch of mother hens afraid to hurt the kids’ feelings? Please, leave the “That a boy” and “You go girl” pep talks for the real moms.
Someone has to step up and say what we’re all thinking. After all, in the end only one person can go “Rockin’ on Top of the World.”
Will you be watching this upcoming season?
Who would you pick to be the 4th judge?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
A Glimpse at the Future: Flux Capacitor Not Required
Big moments for us last week as we got a sneak peak at what lies ahead... By the way, I think our moms were right—“History DOES repeat itself.” Give me a second and you’ll see what I mean.
In one corner: The “Teenager”
Ella gave us a real eye-opener last week – not just with how much she likes dolphins – but we saw a bit of what the teenage years have in store. That teenage girl is just waiting inside, dying for a chance to burst out, and she made a few guest appearances throughout the week as we mistakenly asked Ella, “How was your day at school?”
“Fine.”
“What did you learn today?”
“Nothing.”
“Who did you play with?”
“I don’t know.”
Good grief! And so it begins!
After a couple days of this, we realized we needed to ask Ella more specific questions to help her recall her day. Things like, “What kind of art project did you do? Did you play with Izzy? What letter did you work on today?” Finally, we received more than a one-word answer…still, not as much as I was hoping for. I’m SO not ready for this.
In the other corner: The Toddler
It was an amazing week for Jaisa with the start of some major 1-year milestones. At 13 ½ months old, Jaisa finally took her first steps across the living room. I say “finally” because Ella started walking at 10 months (overachiever), so we’ve kind of been waiting for Jaisa’s big moment—not that I’m comparing. Oh, who am I kidding?
Jaisa was so proud of herself she proceeded to walk around the entire house that day, just to show us that she could. I knew you had it in you, sweetie. Mommy’s aching back thanks you for finally not having to hunch over and walk you everywhere…well, at least for too much longer as you master this latest trick. No pressure, but please hurry! [And yes, moms, I know what I’m asking for here. Considering I’ve been walking like Igor for the last few months, I’m ready to chase after an independent walker...in an upright position.]
Just when we thought we couldn’t handle any more childhood developments for the week, Jaisa throws us another. We were eating supper one night and I had put some food on Jaisa’s fork as I’ve been doing lately to teach her how to eat with utensils, and she proceeded to put the fork in her mouth. Nothing new. And then it happened…Jaisa started stabbing the rest of the food on her tray with her fork and was feeding herself! Matt and I looked at each other in only the amazement two parents can give as a child practices a new skill for the first time. Bravo, Jaisa, bravo! Before you know it, I’m going to be out of another job.
Don’t you just love it when everything clicks? It’s the little things in life, people! We can’t wait to see what the little Jedi will master next.
Teenage Ella, you stay inside….we’re not ready for you yet.
In one corner: The “Teenager”
Ella gave us a real eye-opener last week – not just with how much she likes dolphins – but we saw a bit of what the teenage years have in store. That teenage girl is just waiting inside, dying for a chance to burst out, and she made a few guest appearances throughout the week as we mistakenly asked Ella, “How was your day at school?”
“Fine.”
“What did you learn today?”
“Nothing.”
“Who did you play with?”
“I don’t know.”
Good grief! And so it begins!
After a couple days of this, we realized we needed to ask Ella more specific questions to help her recall her day. Things like, “What kind of art project did you do? Did you play with Izzy? What letter did you work on today?” Finally, we received more than a one-word answer…still, not as much as I was hoping for. I’m SO not ready for this.
In the other corner: The Toddler
It was an amazing week for Jaisa with the start of some major 1-year milestones. At 13 ½ months old, Jaisa finally took her first steps across the living room. I say “finally” because Ella started walking at 10 months (overachiever), so we’ve kind of been waiting for Jaisa’s big moment—not that I’m comparing. Oh, who am I kidding?
Jaisa was so proud of herself she proceeded to walk around the entire house that day, just to show us that she could. I knew you had it in you, sweetie. Mommy’s aching back thanks you for finally not having to hunch over and walk you everywhere…well, at least for too much longer as you master this latest trick. No pressure, but please hurry! [And yes, moms, I know what I’m asking for here. Considering I’ve been walking like Igor for the last few months, I’m ready to chase after an independent walker...in an upright position.]
Just when we thought we couldn’t handle any more childhood developments for the week, Jaisa throws us another. We were eating supper one night and I had put some food on Jaisa’s fork as I’ve been doing lately to teach her how to eat with utensils, and she proceeded to put the fork in her mouth. Nothing new. And then it happened…Jaisa started stabbing the rest of the food on her tray with her fork and was feeding herself! Matt and I looked at each other in only the amazement two parents can give as a child practices a new skill for the first time. Bravo, Jaisa, bravo! Before you know it, I’m going to be out of another job.
Don’t you just love it when everything clicks? It’s the little things in life, people! We can’t wait to see what the little Jedi will master next.
Teenage Ella, you stay inside….we’re not ready for you yet.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Dolphin Within Reach
I know I promised a different topic for this next post, but something so absolutely ridiculous happened last night that I just have to share it. It’s the kind of ridiculous that showcases in all its glory the complexities of being a four-year-old, and raising a four-year-old. This, friends, is a tale of mammal proportions….that of a dolphin. It will make you groan, wince, roll your eyes, and oh yes, maybe even shed a tear.
And so it begins…
Ever since the school year began (a whole week ago), Ella has been a bit of a handful. Not sure why—maybe the change in routine can be to blame. With a four-year-old, who knows? But Matt and I had it up to here (insert your own tolerance threshold) with Ella’s behavior—the whining, the crying, the screaming and carrying on. Enough with the drama! So we came up with a nice little incentive for the week. Each day that she was what we deemed to be a “good girl,” she got a sticker on the calendar leading up to the big reward—a trip to Happy Joe’s. For those of you familiar with this delightful establishment, they’re known for their mighty delicious (if I do say so myself) taco pizza, and of course the games that spit out tickets to win prizes.
So okay, Ella made it through the whole week with stickers leading right up to Wednesday – pizza day. She was teetering on the edge yesterday, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was a “good girl.” (Not sure why I keep putting that in quotation marks, but it IS a relative term, is it not?) One foot inside Happy Joe’s and Ella could barely contain herself…she needed to play games immediately. We tried to calm her down enough to order our pizza and then set her free. She played. Our pizza arrived. Ella barely had four bites before heading back to "Play Land." Matt joined her to help score more tickets (as any good parent would do). Finally, it was getting late. I signaled to Matt that it was “go time.” The moment of truth…. How many tickets did we have and would it be enough to get something of any value? That ruled out toy jewelry, squirt guns, tootsie rolls, giant pencils…you get my point.
We earned 400 points, not bad, but unfortunately not enough to get any of the things Ella originally started rattling off that she wanted….. not enough for Barbie or the walkie-talkies…sorry, kid. So I started giving her ideas that I thought she would like.
“How about that jump rope?”
“No.”
How about that tie-dyed dolphin?”
“No.”
“How about that tiara and some chalk?”
“No.”
I was starting to run out of worthwhile options.
“Are you sure you don’t want that dolphin?”
“No.”
“Okay. I know! How about that cool Buzz and Woody dart game?” (You know the one….it’s a target with a Velcro ball that you throw at the bull’s-eye to get points?) Fun for hours, I thought. Or at least a few minutes.
After about 10 minutes of this (which seemed more like 20), Ella finally agreed, “Yes, I want Buzz and Woody!” We have a winner, folks! Let’s go home.
All was well…we got the kids in their pajamas, put Jaisa down and then I went to lay with Ella for a minute and we talked about our fun day. Then out of the blue, she started crying, “I want the dolphin! I don’t like that Woody game!” I tried to reassure her that she made the right decision. That game was awesome! She wasn’t buying it.
The crying escalated into a full-blown melt down. In between sobs, staggered breathing and trembling I heard, “Can you go back to Happy Joe’s and get my dolphin….PLEEAASSEEE?”
“I WANT MY DOLPHIN, I WANT MY DOLPHIN, I WANT MY DOLPHIN!”
Seriously. There was nothing I could do to calm down this poor, upset, overtired, overly dramatic little girl. Matt stepped in. After 10 more minutes of this, he lost it. Anger=louder crying. After 20 minutes, I got upset. What could I do? I tried to hold her tight and shush her (it works for infants). In my head I was swearing at myself for not listening to my gut. I knew she wanted that stupid dolphin. Apparently, the sheer volume of prizes was just too overwhelming for a four-year-old to make such an important decision. Why didn’t I step in? After 30 long minutes of anguish and Ella asking, “Can you go get my dolphin?” over and over again and me replying, “Yes, Sweetie, yes”, was I really going to be the crazy mother who goes to Happy Joe’s in her pajamas just before closing to return an opened prize and request a freaking dolphin for my impossible-to-please child?
Not a chance.
Sometimes we moms just have to tell our kids what they want to hear to get a little peace and quiet.
But just in case, where else can I find a dolphin?
Tell me…what would you have done?
And so it begins…
Ever since the school year began (a whole week ago), Ella has been a bit of a handful. Not sure why—maybe the change in routine can be to blame. With a four-year-old, who knows? But Matt and I had it up to here (insert your own tolerance threshold) with Ella’s behavior—the whining, the crying, the screaming and carrying on. Enough with the drama! So we came up with a nice little incentive for the week. Each day that she was what we deemed to be a “good girl,” she got a sticker on the calendar leading up to the big reward—a trip to Happy Joe’s. For those of you familiar with this delightful establishment, they’re known for their mighty delicious (if I do say so myself) taco pizza, and of course the games that spit out tickets to win prizes.
So okay, Ella made it through the whole week with stickers leading right up to Wednesday – pizza day. She was teetering on the edge yesterday, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was a “good girl.” (Not sure why I keep putting that in quotation marks, but it IS a relative term, is it not?) One foot inside Happy Joe’s and Ella could barely contain herself…she needed to play games immediately. We tried to calm her down enough to order our pizza and then set her free. She played. Our pizza arrived. Ella barely had four bites before heading back to "Play Land." Matt joined her to help score more tickets (as any good parent would do). Finally, it was getting late. I signaled to Matt that it was “go time.” The moment of truth…. How many tickets did we have and would it be enough to get something of any value? That ruled out toy jewelry, squirt guns, tootsie rolls, giant pencils…you get my point.
We earned 400 points, not bad, but unfortunately not enough to get any of the things Ella originally started rattling off that she wanted….. not enough for Barbie or the walkie-talkies…sorry, kid. So I started giving her ideas that I thought she would like.
“How about that jump rope?”
“No.”
How about that tie-dyed dolphin?”
“No.”
“How about that tiara and some chalk?”
“No.”
I was starting to run out of worthwhile options.
“Are you sure you don’t want that dolphin?”
“No.”
“Okay. I know! How about that cool Buzz and Woody dart game?” (You know the one….it’s a target with a Velcro ball that you throw at the bull’s-eye to get points?) Fun for hours, I thought. Or at least a few minutes.
After about 10 minutes of this (which seemed more like 20), Ella finally agreed, “Yes, I want Buzz and Woody!” We have a winner, folks! Let’s go home.
All was well…we got the kids in their pajamas, put Jaisa down and then I went to lay with Ella for a minute and we talked about our fun day. Then out of the blue, she started crying, “I want the dolphin! I don’t like that Woody game!” I tried to reassure her that she made the right decision. That game was awesome! She wasn’t buying it.
The crying escalated into a full-blown melt down. In between sobs, staggered breathing and trembling I heard, “Can you go back to Happy Joe’s and get my dolphin….PLEEAASSEEE?”
“I WANT MY DOLPHIN, I WANT MY DOLPHIN, I WANT MY DOLPHIN!”
Seriously. There was nothing I could do to calm down this poor, upset, overtired, overly dramatic little girl. Matt stepped in. After 10 more minutes of this, he lost it. Anger=louder crying. After 20 minutes, I got upset. What could I do? I tried to hold her tight and shush her (it works for infants). In my head I was swearing at myself for not listening to my gut. I knew she wanted that stupid dolphin. Apparently, the sheer volume of prizes was just too overwhelming for a four-year-old to make such an important decision. Why didn’t I step in? After 30 long minutes of anguish and Ella asking, “Can you go get my dolphin?” over and over again and me replying, “Yes, Sweetie, yes”, was I really going to be the crazy mother who goes to Happy Joe’s in her pajamas just before closing to return an opened prize and request a freaking dolphin for my impossible-to-please child?
Not a chance.
Sometimes we moms just have to tell our kids what they want to hear to get a little peace and quiet.
But just in case, where else can I find a dolphin?
Tell me…what would you have done?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My Baby, The Kindergartener
Ella’s first day of school had been a hot topic of conversation at our house for the past couple of years. Every time Ella saw the school bus go down our street, she’d ask me, “Mom, when I get big, can I ride the school bus?” I replied every single time, “Yes, Ella, when you get big you’ll get to ride the school bus.” Over time, the allure of the school bus morphed into the much anticipated first day of school. She’d see kids in our neighborhood getting on the bus (again, the bus) with their backpacks overwhelming them and ask, “Mom, when I get big, can I go to school?” To which I replied every single time, “Yes, Ella, when you get big you can go to school.”
As time went on and neither the bus nor school was happening yet, I started feeling a little sad for her, hoping she wouldn’t give up on her dreams so soon. I’d tell her to have patience. “Your time will come sooner than you think.”
The first dream-come-true happened when we signed Ella up for a few Y camps over the summer. Every Friday of camp was Field Trip Day, where, you guessed it; they got to ride the bus. I’ve never seen a kid more excited to step foot on that bus. Ella hadn’t a care where it was taking her; finally she was riding the BUS! That first field trip day, a camper arrived late (there’s always one), so the whole group had to sit, staring at that bright yellow school bus, until the girl showed up. Matt, Jaisa and I waited for 20 minutes until those wide-eyed, little 4-year-olds were allowed to single-file-it on that bus. We quickly discovered in that time of waiting that our child was definitely not the only one who put the bus on such a pedestal. Pictures were taken. It was a magical day Ella retold for weeks to come.
The second dream-come-true, to Ella’s dismay, did not partner with the first dream quite as she had been picturing in her head. Lesson number one: Life’s full of disappointments, kiddo. Ella learned she wouldn’t be riding the bus to school since we live too close for pick-up, BUT she WAS going to school at long last. Over the summer, Ella told virtually everyone she knew (and didn’t know) that she was going to school. We did the traditional back-to-school shopping—she picked out some cool pencils and got a Disney Princess notebook and folder (only to find out they didn’t need their own supplies but instead shared everything). Disappointment #2. No worries though, because those things have already come in handy at home.
The night before school, we stood in front of Ella’s closet and she picked out her favorite polka dot sundress. All I had to do was pray that the weather would be warm enough for her to wear it. It was.
I felt prepared. After all, class was only for 3 hours in the afternoon and only 4 days a week. Did I mention it was in the afternoon? Yeah. Not such a good idea. That’s what you get when you enroll last-minute (I’ll explain why that happened in a later entry). So there we were on the first day of school, the anticipation killing both of us as we wait for the morning hours to tick by until 12:30. But before we knew it, there we were—Mom, Ella and Jaisa in tow, walking up to the front doors of the school as I felt my throat tighten.
My baby was going to kindergarten. My BABY was going to kindergarten. (Okay, it was only 4-K, but still!)
I of course made Ella stand in front of the building so I could take a few pictures. She looked so proud. So grown-up. So ready to leave and start her big first day. The teachers came out to greet the eager students (some not so eager as well). Ella perked up her ears to listen for her name to be called. Finally, she heard it and looked at me as if to say “Could this really be it?” I gave her a smile, then an enormous hug and kiss, and told her to have a great day and I couldn’t wait to hear all about it (Remind me to tell you how that went). She ran over to her teachers to put on her name tag and then took hold of a rope sprawled out in the entry way for all students to grab as they were corralled into the building. The teachers assured us teary-eyed parents that the time would fly by, and Ella yeld out to me with a beaming smile, “Bye, Mommy, I love you!”
It took everything within me to yell back “I love you too!” and not turn into a puddle on the sidewalk instead. It wasn’t that it was hard for me to see her go; I had done it hundreds of times at day care. It was me being so proud of her… for finally being big enough to go to school.
As Jaisa and I walked away, I heard Jaisa say a soft “Bye-bye.” Bye-bye indeed. A door on Ella’s childhood closed that day, but wow, how many more just opened. But, please Ella, don’t “get big” too fast.
Next up: My Baby, The Teenager??
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Don’t Go! Part 2: Saying good-bye isn’t always easy…for baby.
Once upon a time in a land not far away—at our local daycare—a single tear streamed down my daughter Ella’s 8-month-old face… and then another and another as I turned my back on her to head to work. Suddenly her tears exploded into a full-blown fit, screaming and all.
Well, this came out of nowhere.
I was not prepared to see Ella so upset by my departure. Finally, she cared that I was leaving! She really does love me! Wait a minute. Focus, Jessica. Your daughter is in hysterics and somehow you have to figure out how to leave.
Nothing tugs at the heart strings like your child reaching out, pleading for you to stay, with tears instantly driving guilt deep into your chest like a knife. Oh, did it hurt! I did everything the magazines and books warn new moms against—I picked her up, held her, smothered her with kisses and prolonged the visit, making my departure that much more painful.
As I pried the tiny, kung-fu grip from my shoulders, handed Ella to her daycare teacher, and backed my way slowly out of the room, tears filled my eyes too as Ella’s crying got louder and louder. I heard her sobs all the way out the door and it festered in my head for hours. Not a way you want to start the day.
How did my once happy-to-play-with-anyone child now crave my constant presence?
Doctors assure us that separation anxiety is a normal, healthy stage—a sign that your child is beginning to think about you when you aren’t with her. The problem is, babies learn about leaving before they learn about coming back. Makes sense why Ella reacted the way she did—she thought I was never returning! So, I began reading about different ways to help Ella cope and hopefully make saying good bye easier for both of us.
#1: Start small. Playing games like peek-a-boo with Ella helped her get the idea that Mommy goes, but comes right back. The things we do for our children—there I was draped under a blanket, calling “Where’s Mommy?” and then pulled the blanket off to reveal my smiling face to a room filled with hysterics. But this time it was laughter. Huh, she really thought this stuff was funny! Never have I been known for my comedic talent, but to Ella I was a comic genius! So I repeated the move again and again, feeling her laughter light up the room.
#2: Say no to strangers. Most babies go through the stage of separation anxiety best in their own environment with people they know well. But even leaving Ella with Grandma—a woman she saw on a weekly basis—would upset her from time to time. One thing I realized is the importance of slow transitions. When planning a night out with my husband Matt, we would make sure Grandma came early to play with Ella while we were still present. Soon she was having a blast and could care less whether we were there or not.
#3: Plan your exit. Sneaking away may seem like the easy way out, but do I really want to think about Ella suddenly realizing we’re gone and never getting a good bye? I don’t think so. She deserves a proper good bye. I just don’t prolong it like I used to do. Now when we leave, we give Ella a quick kiss and hug, tell her to have fun, and we’ll see her later. Then we bolt. Sometimes she cries for us, but we don’t turn back. It’s hard, but Matt and I know in less than a minute she will have forgotten we’re gone and be distracted by her newest audience.
#4: Let her cry it out. Yes, it felt awful to leave Ella while she was still crying, but like I said earlier, the theatrics didn’t last long. After a few minutes with a loving caregiver—who’s good with spontaneous distraction—she calmed down, as most babies do. Grandma would immediately engage her in a book, toy or even short children’s program. It made leaving so much easier for both Ella and us.
Even now at 4 years old, Ella still gets a bit upset when I leave the house, primarily because she wants to tag along. But now with the tag-team efforts of our youngest daughter Jaisa, who at age 1 is literally attached to Mommy’s hip most of the day, saying good-bye just doubled in difficulty. Once one starts crying, the other chimes right in, primarily for amplified effect. As sad as it is to leave those tear-streaked faces, I know they’ll be fine and I’ll come back to showers of hugs and kisses.
If you and your child are going through the struggles of separation anxiety, just remember it does get easier. Got any tricks for leaving the house without the kids going into hysterics? Please share!
Well, this came out of nowhere.
I was not prepared to see Ella so upset by my departure. Finally, she cared that I was leaving! She really does love me! Wait a minute. Focus, Jessica. Your daughter is in hysterics and somehow you have to figure out how to leave.
Nothing tugs at the heart strings like your child reaching out, pleading for you to stay, with tears instantly driving guilt deep into your chest like a knife. Oh, did it hurt! I did everything the magazines and books warn new moms against—I picked her up, held her, smothered her with kisses and prolonged the visit, making my departure that much more painful.
As I pried the tiny, kung-fu grip from my shoulders, handed Ella to her daycare teacher, and backed my way slowly out of the room, tears filled my eyes too as Ella’s crying got louder and louder. I heard her sobs all the way out the door and it festered in my head for hours. Not a way you want to start the day.
How did my once happy-to-play-with-anyone child now crave my constant presence?
Doctors assure us that separation anxiety is a normal, healthy stage—a sign that your child is beginning to think about you when you aren’t with her. The problem is, babies learn about leaving before they learn about coming back. Makes sense why Ella reacted the way she did—she thought I was never returning! So, I began reading about different ways to help Ella cope and hopefully make saying good bye easier for both of us.
#1: Start small. Playing games like peek-a-boo with Ella helped her get the idea that Mommy goes, but comes right back. The things we do for our children—there I was draped under a blanket, calling “Where’s Mommy?” and then pulled the blanket off to reveal my smiling face to a room filled with hysterics. But this time it was laughter. Huh, she really thought this stuff was funny! Never have I been known for my comedic talent, but to Ella I was a comic genius! So I repeated the move again and again, feeling her laughter light up the room.
#2: Say no to strangers. Most babies go through the stage of separation anxiety best in their own environment with people they know well. But even leaving Ella with Grandma—a woman she saw on a weekly basis—would upset her from time to time. One thing I realized is the importance of slow transitions. When planning a night out with my husband Matt, we would make sure Grandma came early to play with Ella while we were still present. Soon she was having a blast and could care less whether we were there or not.
#3: Plan your exit. Sneaking away may seem like the easy way out, but do I really want to think about Ella suddenly realizing we’re gone and never getting a good bye? I don’t think so. She deserves a proper good bye. I just don’t prolong it like I used to do. Now when we leave, we give Ella a quick kiss and hug, tell her to have fun, and we’ll see her later. Then we bolt. Sometimes she cries for us, but we don’t turn back. It’s hard, but Matt and I know in less than a minute she will have forgotten we’re gone and be distracted by her newest audience.
#4: Let her cry it out. Yes, it felt awful to leave Ella while she was still crying, but like I said earlier, the theatrics didn’t last long. After a few minutes with a loving caregiver—who’s good with spontaneous distraction—she calmed down, as most babies do. Grandma would immediately engage her in a book, toy or even short children’s program. It made leaving so much easier for both Ella and us.
Even now at 4 years old, Ella still gets a bit upset when I leave the house, primarily because she wants to tag along. But now with the tag-team efforts of our youngest daughter Jaisa, who at age 1 is literally attached to Mommy’s hip most of the day, saying good-bye just doubled in difficulty. Once one starts crying, the other chimes right in, primarily for amplified effect. As sad as it is to leave those tear-streaked faces, I know they’ll be fine and I’ll come back to showers of hugs and kisses.
If you and your child are going through the struggles of separation anxiety, just remember it does get easier. Got any tricks for leaving the house without the kids going into hysterics? Please share!
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